Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it. ~”Albus Dumbledore” J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

I am a terrible patient, or at least I’m terrible at being not well. I really try not to be whiny and needy but it’s a fuckingbunchofshit when you have parts of your innards removed and can’t do things you think you should be able to do.

I cannot clean the kitchen, for example. What kind of thing is that to do to yourself, huh? Someone who prides herself as the master of domesticity and she can’t even do dishes or cook properly. I get to lay here rubbing my belly and wishing I could fart. …oh look, I’m a man

I know, to some of you this would be no problem. In fact, for some it would be like a vacation woohoo! For me it’s like taking away my ability to breathe on my own.

I’ve never been good at depending on someone else for much of anything. Something I learned over the past couple of years is depending on someone isn’t necessarily any reflection on you, but it is a reflection of how you feel about someone. This is important to remember when pride steps in and tries to show her well-coiffed head. It isn’t always about you.

Good habits are not always good things. How you act when you can’t do the same thing you always do is how you know who you are.

Not only have I lost some bad innards, perhaps I can lose some bad habits I thought were good ones as well.