Last night Matt and I watched Revolutionary Road. There’s a scene where Kate Winslet is walking down the street or some such thing and she is wearing this yellow dress (I think) and I say out loud “I want to look like that”.

Now that I’ve thought about what I said, I know I didn’t exactly mean that. I meant I want a dress to fit me the way that dress fits her.

I think we say things that we don’t mean… A LOT! We don’t pay attention to the words we say and the things we say to ourselves. We act as if the way we say them doesn’t matter.

I am notorious for rambling and during such rambling sessions I tend to get off track or say something that isn’t exactly what I mean. I have to slow down, think my words and their order properly before I say them to ensure my meaning is understood. I don’t always do that and instead end up saying ‘did you know what I meant?’ I know, not the best way to communicate.

The way we communicate with ourselves is even MORE important than the way we communicate to others. We’ve all heard the expression ‘we become what we think about’ (and if you haven’t, hear it now). Even the most hard-headed person would have to recognize the truth of that statement. Our thoughts are merely questions we ask ourselves all day long. (‘Am I going to go to the track?’ ‘If I go, how long am I going to stay?’ ‘What about dinner?’ ‘Which pan should I use?’ etc..) and we answer ourselves based on how we feel about whatever we are asking.

When someone says to themselves “why does this always happen to me?” or “why can I never get motivated?” or any of the other thousands of similar questions we ask ourselves everyday, the answers are what matters. Our brains MUST answer whatever question we pose to it. It is the nature of a brain. (Ask a computer something, it gives an answer… may not be the one you were looking for, but it answers.) So if you answer those questions with “because you are a lazy ass that doesn’t deserve better”, do ya reckon that’s what you’ll believe?

Change your thinking.

You can want to be Kate Winslet in that yellow dress or Bill Gates or anyone else for whatever reason you admire them. You will never be them. Ever. However, I can be me in a yellow dress that fits like that dress fits on her. The dress, most likely, won’t even be the same cut, but I will feel like I think that looks.

Choose your words and see how that changes what you do and how you do it.